Fallout
by IsisMoon9
Summary: Episode tag to D&C JS


_AN- thanks as always to anner87 for beta'ing. This is set just after D&C. please review, flames will be used to burn my animal behaviour and breeding lecturer. lol_

Fallout

Things had been strange lately. No late night phone calls, no cheerful banter not even their normal flirty glances over the briefing table. Things were strictly professional and it was unnerving everyone involved. Hammond was even considering confronting Jack about the obvious change in their team dynamics. Sam had even ducked out of their weekly team nights, her one night when she was dragged from her lab.

The situation was driving Sam mad. She was utterly confused and found herself spending more and more time on her own. The worst part was that she couldn't quite put her finger on why. Jack had been a bit distant but it wasn't the most usual occurrence to be forced to explain your feelings for your 2IC or face having part of your brain fried. Was she confused about the way she felt or the way he did? 'I care about you, a lot more than I'm supposed to', what did that mean? That he liked her in a non-professional way, he cared about her as a friend, family member? She had been avoiding him, inventing excuses to miss team nights and staying on the base on the off chance he dropped by her house or called. He didn't seem to have a problem with it which bothered her more than anything. The realisation had dawned on her quickly when she was strapped into the chair, trying to give away as little as possible. It washed over her like a tidal wave, a crashing reality check. She loved him. Simple. Or at least it should have been.

Jack wandered the corridors of the SGC in a daze. Only putting one foot in front of the other and avoiding oncoming people because he was on autopilot. He couldn't stop thinking about it, about her. Thinking about how things would have been different if he'd have just left her there, he pushed the thought away with a grunt. Deleting it from his mind. Leaving her was never an option on so many levels. There were a lot of 'what ifs' and no exact answer that would result in a more comfortable solution. He had been avoiding her and he was pretty sure she had been doing the same with him. She hadn't shown for team nights for a few weeks now and things were strained between them. Had he made her uncomfortable with his confession? Was she disgusted that he would be so unprofessional? He desperately wanted to just sit her down and try and explain, make things right. Despairing he realised that he just didn't have the courage to approach such a sensitive topic at the moment. He looked up and saw that once again he had walked to her lab. He took a breath and held it, considering going in and talking to her about something, anything. With a shuffle of his feet he let the breath go and let his shoulders slump. With a sad sigh he turned and walked back towards his office.

She had to do something. He'd come to her lab again today, of course she didn't let on that she knew he was there. She couldn't even see him. It was just a feeling that she got when he was in proximity. If something wasn't done soon it would be the end of SG-1, they weren't working like they used to. The dynamic was missing and it was only time before Hammond saw it too. It was time to do something about it, before it drove her completely insane and she ended up having to go and see Mackenzie.

As she drove away from the mountain that night it took all of her willpower not to just turn around and go home. The thoughts and feeling spinning around inside her head were almost making her dizzy. Endless questions and possible consequences if she told him what she planned to. The consequences ultimately all led to the same conclusion, her dismissal from the SGC and possibly the air force. But then if she didn't tell him and things continued as they did things could still end up in the same mess or worse. Some choice!

Before she realised it she was there. Outside of his house, just parked. She cursed the presence of lights in the windows, it would have been easier to decide he wasn't in, go home and think that you tried. She sat there, staring into space, her mind blank. Her hands were shaking. It was all she could to steady them enough to remove the keys from the ignition. Mustering all of her strength, mentally and physically, she got out of the car. Forcing herself to move forward towards the door, his door, possibly the fastest exit route from her promising career. She paced in front of the door for what seemed like only seconds. The door suddenly flew open.

"Carter. Is there any particular reason why you're wearing down my doorstep pacing on it? They fixing the hole you've worn in the floor of your lab?" his sarcastic tone cut through her reverie, bringing her crashing back down to reality.

"Just, well, I just, erm, came to say hi." Her statement sounded more like a question as she stuttered her response, aware that she was now shaking all over. A thousand thoughts ran through her mind, her feet refused to move in either direction as her consciousness fought over whether to stay and see it through or whether to run back to her car and drive away as fast as was humanly possible.

He noticed her eyes glaze over and obvious confusion wash over her face. He moved towards her slowly, worried that something major had happened. She wouldn't have come here like this otherwise. He gently put a hand on her arm and led her in. she closed her eyes at the contact, resigning herself to her fate.

As he led her to the sofa and sat her down her head cleared. She knew what she had to do and now was the only time she was going to be able to do it. He disappeared, she presumed to the kitchen. She stood up abruptly as he walked back into the room offering her a beer. She took it thanking him, pacing as he sat in his lounger, trying to prepare what she was going to say.

"Things haven't been so great recently have they? With us I mean? After that thing on Apophis' ship and the zatarc testing." His face dropped his expression almost funny under any other circumstances. His gaze dropped to his beer.

"No, they haven't." his voice sounded small to him, this was the moment he'd been dreading for weeks, the final moment of truth. She started to speak again but he cut her off. "Look, Carter I can explain. I've been meaning to talk to you for weeks but every time I found myself outside your lab I just couldn't do it. I didn't know quite how to put it." He sighed sadly and raised his gaze to meet hers. Her posture softened and she moved to sit on the sofa.

"We really need to sort this out Sir." He nodded in agreement.

"I'm sorry Sam." Her face creased in puzzlement. Silently asking him why. "I'm sorry for feeling the way about you that I do, I understand that it makes things difficult and makes you uncomfortable."

"What?" her voice reflected the confusion in her face. He really thought that she was avoiding him because she didn't want him to feel something for her? "That's not it at all." She stared at her feet, trying to think of a way to put into words what was spinning around her head. "I haven't been avoiding you like that; well I have been avoiding you. But for a slightly different reason. I thought you wouldn't want me to be around you after my confession while we were re-tested."

"But all you basically said was that you cared about me a lot." She saw confusion fill his eyes; they narrowed in thought as he tried to process what she had said.

"I didn't. You said you cared about me. I said, well, we both know what I said." She knew she was blushing furiously. She saw that he still didn't get it, and it frustrated her beyond comprehension. "I said that I loved you." There, it was out there. Just floating around the room. Her eyes filled with tears at the embarrassment of having to confess her love for the man sitting before her for a second time.

"The way you seemed to take what I said seems slightly, well, wrong." He took a deep breath. "When I said I cared about you more than I should I meant it."

"You care about all of us more than you should." He could feel the pain in her voice, and the fear of getting it all out into the open. He got up and sat down next to her.

"Your right, I care about Daniel and Teal'c as if they were family. I care about you as, well, more than that." He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. The look on her face told him that she wasn't going to let herself believe it until he told her outright.

"Look, sir, you don't have to tell me you feel the same way about me just so we can make things seem ok again. I understand that my feelings are inappropriate but I can cope with them. I understand that you don't feel the same way but I'd rather have you as one of my best friends than a stranger." Her expression was one of strength but her eyes betrayed her true feelings on the matter. A rim of tears was forming but refusing to fall. Alarmed at her thoughts about his feelings and confession, knowing that the Carter train of thought was endless he gently took her hand, intertwining her fingers with his.

"Sam, I, well, I love you. Simple as. And I'm not saying this so we can just get back to business as usual. I just think you deserve the truth. I know that this is going to make things more difficult and that nothing can come of it but, well, you should know." A single tear crept down her face as her fingers tightened around his. She turned her body towards him; he got the message and pulled her into a hug. He let his hand creep up to her hair, stroking it. He felt her relax and turn her head to rest on his chest. Taking a deep breath he lent back, enjoying what little contact they were allowing themselves. She moved closer to him and his arms tightened.

"I love you too you know." Her voice was almost inaudible and muffled against his chest. They lay curled in each others arms for hours, not needing to speak.

"I know this is a bit premature and not possible currently obviously but" he really wasn't sure that this was going to be a good idea, but then he thought that telling her he loved her was going to be a mistake. He half laughed at his self doubt and decided to bite the bullet. "Would you maybe, well, I mean you don't have to, but we could give this a go, you and me, when the war with the evil scum-sucking snake heads is over. Maybe?" his voice came out much more confident than he felt. She pulled away from him, smiling up at him gently. Taking a leap of faith she lent towards him, carefully placing her hand on his neck. He leant into the soft contact. Her confidence was restored as he met her half way, his lips moulding to hers perfectly.

As they pulled away he leant his forehead on hers.

"This isn't going to be easy Sam, but I'll wait for you forever if I have to." His love for her was written in his eyes, it was so clear and true it took her breath away.

"I know, but I'm prepared to wait as long as we need to. I really want to give it a proper chance Jack." He understood her meaning. This couldn't happen again, not for a while. But he didn't think he'd be able to get the sensation of kissing her finally out of his head for a while. He smiled genuinely at her.

They knew it would be a long and difficult road but there was tonight, and he knew they'd make it count. His thoughts and senses clouded as she guided him into another kiss. This one less tentative and saturated with feeling.

Maybe tonight could turn into forever, with a bit of luck and fate on their side.


End file.
